Learning to Be Me Without You

Learning to Be Me Without You: A Story of Love, Loss, and Coming Home

Learning to Be Me Without You is a love story about a diagnosis, one last adventure, a crisis of faith, and a transformed life. With stunning authenticity, Paula Freeman chronicles her journey into widowhood, the club no one wants to join. Yet in the journey, she discovers how God recovers life from loss.

When doctor’s confirm that Paula’s husband of 40 years has an uncurable lung disease, fear and grief overwhelm her, and she begins to journal. This memoir is a vulnerable and sometimes humorous account—in real time—of a terminal illness, a cross-country move, her husband’s untimely death, and an unscripted road to healing during a set-apart season by the sea. It’s a story of God’s faithfulness in the crucible of grief and what can happen when we say yes to his invitation to Follow me . . . I want to recover your life.

This book offers gentle guidance and insight toward personal growth through grief and can also be used as a support group, widows’ ministry, or church group resource.

What people are saying…

“. . . a gift of words, and it is a gift beyond words. Join Paula in the pages as she walks each of us along a sacred path: through grief, yes, but most importantly, to the God whose endless grace paves each step.”

Tricia Lott Williford 
Author of And Life Comes Back

“Grief is messy and mysterious and pain-soaked; we want to run from its presence. But when after the loss of a life-long love there’s no place to run, the way ahead looks desperately lonely. In Learning to Be Me Without You, Paula Freeman offers gentle guidance and open-hearted companionship. Not by laying out a 9-step formula, but by sharing with naked vulnerability her own journey from brokenness into life as God’s beloved.”

Maureen Rank
Author, Free to Grieve: Healing and Encouragement for Those Who Have Suffered Miscarriage and Stillbirth

“The transition to a “just me” life is full of challenges and sorrow. As Paula Freeman takes us on her widow’s journey in Learning to Be Me Without You, she is honest about her struggles and the many unknowns she’s faced. She shows us how God’s grace trumped her fears, how she embraced God’s “enough-ness” through surrender to Him, and how she recovered her life—in spiritual and practical ways. Her story offers hope and help for others on their own widows’ journeys.”

Twila Belk—writer and speaker 
Author of Raindrops from Heaven and The Power to Be

“When our husband dies, our identity is shaken. In Learning to Be Me Without You, you will discover a friend who understands, a mentor offering wise counsel, and a gentle guide as Paula takes us by the hand through the valley of the shadow of death and the early days, months, and years of grief. Be encouraged and challenged . . . and try the reflection questions at the end of each chapter. (That was my favorite part.)”

Lori Apon,
Founder and Executive Director
Perspective Ministries and
WidowLife Magazines
Atlanta, GA

“I highly recommend this book to anyone looking for evidence of God at work in the hard seasons of life. With honesty and humor, Paula brings her background as a social worker, nonprofit president, wife, and mom, and cradles her experience in scripture so the reader finds understanding and hope as they walk their road of grief.”

Rev. Paul Lessard, Executive Minister, 
Evangelical Covenant Church